Whether it be politics, real estate or interpersonal relationship issues, part of an effective negotiation strategy is knowing the other party’s position and pain points.
If your position is lose/lose for them, it may be more beneficial for them to walk away and lose less than accepting your offer (or demand as they will likely perceive it, if it’s a losing proposition for them).
This is fine if you operate in a zero sum world.
If you want long term success, you may want to consider your strategy.
“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – André Gide
I was reading my friend Andrew Whitehouse’s blog this morning and came across a post he wrote regarding originalism in thought and work. In addition to the quote above, he said (wrote?) something that jumped out at me, articulating the why of what I do here. That is:
That’s what I’m aiming for here. (The “what is it for?” for this blog.): Looking for patterns in the work others have done, applying my own perspective, writing about it, noticing what’s there, and then iterating. – Andrew Whitehouse
This all circles back to something I’ve asked myself quite a bit, “Why are there so many different frameworks that say much the same thing when you boil them down to basics?”
I think the answer is that:
1) people weren’t necessarily listening at that moment (that framework X was developed)
or (as if not more likely)
2) it wasn’t said in a way that resonated
To the latter point, Seth Godin’s Linchpin hit me like a hammer. It articulated the principles I’ve tried to live by in such a way that it resonated with me. Further, it allowed me to articulate them in turn to people around me. Colonel John Boyd’s OODA loop also resonates with me. However, it doesn’t resonate with everyone. A particular piece of feedback I’ve received about the OODA loop is, ‘It’s too military a mindset for me with it’s talk of opponents and breaking other loops.’ To this I said to the person, “That’s totally ok. There are a number of other frameworks that may resonate with you!”
What’s the bottom line here?
Don’t give up. Your voice may be – will be – the one that resonates with someone.